zachbissett

Posts Tagged ‘australia’

Maria Sharapova: $1000 per minute

In girls, sports, TV, Uncategorized on 01/23/2013 at 19:44

The 2013 Australian Open is midway through its second week and the eight Men’s and Women’s semifinalists have all spent varied amounts of time on court. Maria Sharapova has looked particularly dominant in her first 5 matches and will seek to keep that streak alive in tonight’s semi against the charming and dangerous Li Na.

Masha Masha Masha!

But let’s examine just how dominant (and just how lucrative) Sharapova has been so far:

R128 Sharapova def. Puchkova 6-0, 6-0 (55 minutes)
R64 Sharapova def. Doi 6-0, 6-0 (47 minutes)
R32 Sharapova def. V Williams 6-1, 6-3 (79 minutes)
R16 Sharapova def. Flipkens 6-1, 6-0 (78 minutes)
QF Sharapova def. Makarova 6-2, 6-2 (66 minutes)

Maria has lost 9 games in 5 matches and no sets. She has yet to play a match that lasted an hour and twenty minutes or exceeded a 6-3 scoreline. In fact, with just over 5 hours on court and a cool $500,000 already in the bank, Sharapova is earning an astonishing $1539 for every minute she’s on court.

To put that in context, a typical 9-5 job with that sort of rate would pay $3.7 million every week. Lucky for the Happy Slam, Maria isn’t logging that sort of time. And her efficient play has been as impressive as her minute/dollar ratio.

Through five matches Maria is +21 winners to unforced errors. Her serve percentage is erratic, but she’s winning 80% of first serve points and 54% of second. Azarenka, the defending champion and Marai’s kryptonite of late, will dominate any weak serving, so there is certainly cause for alarm.

With Serena Williams out, Sharapova has a huge opportunity not only to reclaim the world #1 ranking (she only needs to reach the finals) but earn her 5th career Major. While her numbers have been encouraging, I’m sure she would not mind Sloan Stephens scoring another huge upset on her behalf.

“Magicicada”

In fiction, gay/lesbian, poetry, writing on 10/16/2012 at 00:17

This is a draft of a horror/magical realist story I wrote, inspired by Julio Cortazar’s “Beastiary.”

“Magicicada” tells the story of Riley, her cousin Maggie, and their bizarre return to Perth, where she spent summers as a child. She finds her grandmother’s ranch a changed place, her cousin Eric a mysterious man and the return of a legendary brood of insect looming over the town.

I’ve sent it out, so I can only keep it up for a few days. Enjoy it during the Halloween season.

“Magicicada”
In the dark the children squealed, delighted by the roiling earth between their toes, those moist, glistening grubs. “Bring the light over here! The light over here!”
“Magicicada,” the elders uttered from rockers on the porch, singing the song, tzitzika, tzitzika, tzitzika. “They get bigger every cycle,” one speculated. “Big? These? Wait for the brood to rise.”
From the porch the children were evidenced only by shrill voices and the long arms of flashlights, extensions of their always pointing fingers, racing around the prairie…one stood apart, a girl in a dress that was glowing, it seems, the loveliest amber. She stood by the swing set under pale garlands of the old willow, examining the husks still holding to the tree, ghost shells, not living or dead…she might turn one to dust with a finger—she had magic like that—but the wind had not dislodged them, nor had bat or bird or either of the girls’ deranged cousins. They’d fall on their own, she knew, or else the willow tree would be a jaundiced mountain of shells from all the broods before, ten thousand summers old. They’d fall.
She shrieked, excitement keying up her throat, and rejoined the race, not willing to miss another second. Read the rest of this entry »

FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS “Feel Inside (and stuff like that)”

In music, TV, writing on 09/14/2012 at 15:27

Flight of the Conchords, the self proclaimed “fourth most popular folk band in New Zealand,” broke a three year hiatus to record a children’s charity song for Red Nose Day: Comedy for Cure Kids. The song, “Feel Inside (and stuff like that)” was released in August, and this week the band released an extended version of the music video that helps explain where the out of left field lyrics came from.

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