zachbissett

Archive for February, 2013|Monthly archive page

Best of “Modern Seinfeld” (2012)

In future, present, writing on 02/27/2013 at 13:28

For those of you without a twitter, the “Modern Seinfeld” account has been extremely active since early December and midway through January went viral. To learn more about the feed click here and to check “Modern Seinfeld” on twitter, go here.

With sometimes a dozen tweets a day, it’s easy to miss a gem. “Modern Seinfeld” embraces current popular trends (Kramer selling black market large sodas, becoming obsessed with people on social media who have his name, taking bets on American Idol; George learning he under sold rare war memorabilia via Pawn Stars; AutoCorrect ruining Jerry’s relationship, getting dumped for not writing on his girlfriend’s wall for her birthday) while also pitching what feel like classic episodes in 140 characters or less (Kramer sells his car for a golf cart, uses a catheter at the movies; George gets into an argument with a coworker who always takes the elevator to the second floor).

Here are some of the best “Modern Seinfeld” tweets from December 2012.

Jerry joins Twitter only to find that a Jerry parody account has 50k followers. It’s run by Bania who will stop if Jerry buys him dinner.

It's gold Jerry, gold!
Read the rest of this entry »

Poem: “The Swimming Song”

In poetry, writing on 02/27/2013 at 12:46

Swimming Song
This music box you gave to me,
the prettiest one I’ve ever seen,
a song to move the birds
from a city
that overlooks the sea. She sang
“Remember when we were married?
Speak of it like dead and buried,”
while I spill revenge on a yellow dress…I swore it an accident.

I pledge my love to you,
I’ll shine like gold when you feel blue.
On a night like this it’s hard
not to howl
at the moon.

Declaring Ineligibility: Royce White, Unlikeable Hero

In sports, TV on 02/18/2013 at 19:32

It is an odd decision for a potentially 18 year old kid to make: go pro, or sign up for classes next fall. Once a kid has made up his mind to try his hand at NBA basketball, he “declares eligibility” for that year’s draft. There is no guarantee the kid will be drafted at all, and that puts him in a precarious position. While he can return to school and further his education, he can no longer ball.

So when Royce White said he was ready for NBA basketball going into the 2012 NBA draft, one of the deepest in years, he was indeed making a declaration: I am prepared to put my college days behind me and become a professional athlete. Sure, an NBA player is no police officer, brain surgeon, NASA launch officer (Oh wait, no one is!), but they are a professional nonetheless.

White declared his eligibility, but has yet to log a minute of NBA play, and until a few days ago hadn’t played basketball period since ending his college career. He declared eligibility, but he surely hasn’t been professional.

Hero? Hated.
Read the rest of this entry »