In TV on 04/27/2012 at 15:57

My review of last night’s “Parks and Recreation” appears on, please read it here! Here are some quotes from the other comedies on NBC.


“Hey, she’s the one putting her hands in my mouth.” –Janitor

“It’s not a short straw, it’s a hot potato.” –Abed

“What happened Todd? Cut yourself on an extra sharp Oscar Wilde play?” –Abed

“You can dance all day Todd, but sooner or later the music’s gonna change.” –Troy

“I can also help. As a psyche major I can–” –Britta

“Hey, idiot, guess what? We don’t care about the back pack.” –Troy

“That doesn’t make sense, you don’t order ketchup it’s a condiment!” –Troy

“This yam was about to bloom.” –Coroner

“Keep the change Gary. Actually, keep the hot dog.” –Jeff

“Alright, so I stole some beakers for the meth lab I’m making in the trunk of my car, that’s it!” –Starburns

“We agreed to withhold that information as part of a pinky promise with the witness.” –Jeff

“This is ludicrous. This whole school is ludicrous.” –Col. Archwood

“You zip it Uncle Knobby!” –Todd

“We are definitely dissecting pine cones next year.”

30 ROCK LIVE!!! (East Coast taping)
“You’ll write and shoot the season in two weeks, like Fox news.” –Jack

“Next stop Hollywood, Florida.” –Hazel

“Rick Santorum was right.” –Paul

“According to Roe vs. Dwayne Wade, I have the right to choose.” –Paul

“I may have a dress, a wig and a gynecologist, but I am the man.” –Paul

“They thought having two black people one the same show would make audiences nervous, a rule NBC still uses today.” –Paul

“I’m Nazi doctor Leo Spacheman–I know it’s live, I want them to know!” –Dr. Spacheman

“Oh my god Kenneth, it’s my period, it’s about to explode.” –Liz

“Thank you Chip.” –David

“Thank you David.” –Chip

“Listen doll you’re not making any sense, you’re probably hysterical from menstruation.” –Chip

“You’ve got a dynamite shape but you’re going to have to shut up and let a man tell us what’s happening. Is your father or a policeman nearby?” –David

“Rick Santorum was right.” –Jenna

“This is for you Jesus!” –Young Tracy

“That’s when I realized I was a ridiculous man.” –Tracy

“Daddy, it’s your son, Toby Electric.” –Young Liz

“I’m Jack Donaghy damn it.” –Young Jack

Prince William and Prince: Time Traveling Fart Detectives.

“I don’t want to alarm people but there’s a distinct chance we’re about to be killed.” –Dwight

“That’s how all problems start, a middle aged white man just hanging out.” –Dwight

“I don’t want to get raped.” –Creed

“Oh, this guy’s having a break down.” –Ryan

“She’s right Andy, you’re being a jebrowni.” –Stanly

“Life is Downton Abbey.” –Pam

“I can’t tell you what an honor it is to support this…thing.” –Dwight

“These tables, tarted up like Victorian whores!” –Dwight

“Sometimes I feel like all the people I work with are idiots.” –Kevin

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